Lets talk about one of the things that most people avoid talking about. Career focused is the really polite way of saying that a person dedicates the vast majority of their time and energy to work. I know this because this used to be me for the better part of my adult life. Now that I’m on the other side of it, I can be honest and tell you that all of my personal relationships have paid the price for my career ambition. Here’s the thing though, you absolutely CAN be career focused without completely neglecting everything else in your life that matters. The first step though, is to take a hard look in the mirror.
Here are some questions that I want you to ask yourself:
What percentage of your energetic battery are you giving to work each day?
Notice that I said energetic battery and not hours of the day. Just because you aren’t at work doesn’t mean that you aren’t spending your energy on it. That includes the time you spend thinking about work.
What are you spending your peak energy on?
Peak energy is different for everyone. If you aren’t sure when your peak energy time is, it is typically when you are able to think most clearly, stay the most focused, and overall just give your best effort towards things. For me, my peak energy is usually between 7am and 10am. I’m a morning person. Decision fatigue hasn’t set in yet and because I usually get at least 8 hours of sleep every night, I feel refreshed and ready to take on the world. For some people, that peak time is at night after they’ve taken care of all of the things that they have to and they are then able to focus on the things that they want to.
If you are rarely or never spending your peak energy on literally anything other than work, you should likely consider being more intentional with your peak energy.
WHY are you spending so much time and energy on your career?
I know this seems like a softball, but it’s really not. Get past the canned answers of career progression for the sake of financial success. Why ELSE are you spending so much time and energy on your career?
If you grew up in the US, you likely had some family influence telling you that the only way to be a successful adult is to be really great at a job so that you can climb the ladder and make as much money as you can. Even further, they likely told you that you should always be going after more money because money buys happiness. Do you have those voices in the back of your mind? Do you truly BELIEVE those things to be true still? Spoiler alert, you can be successful in your career while having healthy boundaries with your energy.
Are you pouring yourself into your work to avoid the other parts of your life that don’t come as “easy” to you?
If you find yourself having challenges in your relationships… because you already aren’t giving them enough of your energy… it’s easy to self-sabotage by doing a lot more of the same. What will it take for you to stop that spiral and do the hard thing which usually starts with acknowledging your own faults?
Name two significant hobbies or passions in your life outside of work.
This is more of a statement than a question, but stick with me. Were you able to come up with two legitimate things? And “hanging out with family and friends” doesn’t count. You would be amazed at the number of people who do not have a single thing in their life that they are doing simply because it brings them joy. Life is way too short to not spend any of it on things that fill your soul.
I hope that you are able to take as much time as you need to really sit with those questions and reflect. So many people just go through their day to day focusing on the next task or the next small goal, or the next baby step and they never take the time to sit back and look at the bigger picture. This is your wake-up call.
If you saw yourself in five years and you were truly happy and joyful, what changes would you need to make today in order for that to happen? What brand new thing can you start today (and be terrible at!) so that future you can be so proud of how far that you have come? What boundary can you set so that you are not a slave to your career? There is a whole world of possibility out there if you are only willing to try. Try and fail and then try again! If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the realization that your career focus has taken on a life of it’s own, I’d love to work with you. Let’s get coaching!
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