I've met a lot of people who have found themselves so paralyzed by fear of the unknown that they have eliminated as much of the unpredictable things in their life as possible. Most of the time, these people haven't even realized that they've done it or the extreme to which it has progressed. Everyone is different and it is a bit of a spectrum, but here are some things to consider:
Same job for a long time with little to no new skills learned and very little mental challenge
Same vacation(s), to the same place, every single year
Go to the exact same seasonal events every year (think county fair, holiday events, family get togethers, etc.)
A handful of local restaurants that are the ONLY ones you'll go to
No new hobbies/skills learned independently
Most nights after work, all you do is watch TV and then go to bed
No reading or listening to audio books that wasn't required by work or school
None of these things individually throw up any red flags but if you are able to look at the last 10 years of your life and think - man, I've basically just lived the same year over and over again… then I would encourage you to ask yourself why. There are always going to be things that are exceptions to the rule, so please don't take this in absolutely. But I would also encourage you to not just brush it off if this does fit your situation.
What are you gaining by living the same life over and over again? How is that predictability adding value to your life? IS IT? For younger people, consider the following: If you were to fast forward your life 10 years and then reflect on the safe/predictable life that you currently have planned by default, will you be proud of how you have lived your life? Will you feel like you didn't waste a minute of it and that you lived your life to the fullest? If the answer is yes, great! Keep doing what you're doing. We're done here. If you're in your late 30s or beyond, visualize the reverse. Actually look at the last 10 years of your life. Are you proud of how you have lived your life? Do you wish that you would have… fill in the blank. Why didn't you do the thing(s)?
Here's the hard part. When you reflect on your visualization and find that you didn't do some things that you wish you would have, what was it that stopped you? Were you afraid to try new things just because you had never done it before? Were you afraid of being bad at something? Spoiler alert - everyone sucks at things that they try for the first time! Most things take practice and a willingness to fail so that you can get better. There are a lot of perfectionists out there who are paralyzed at the thought of TRYING something new. If that's you, let's chat. I've got some life-changing tools for you!
Okay, maybe you weren't afraid of being bad. Were you afraid of other people judging your efforts of trying something new? Were you afraid of feeling dumb if you were trying to learn a new skill? Whatever your fear, if it stopped you from doing things that you truly wanted to do, it's time to make some changes. It is NEVER too late to acknowledge our own shortcomings and ask for a little help to get us going in the direct that we want to.
It is very easy to get stuck in a loop of doing the same things you've always done, even more so if all of the people that you surround yourself with are doing the exact same thing. I encourage you to turn off the TV a bit and start doing some reflecting. Ask yourself some of the big questions in life. What is the purpose of your life? Don't laugh. I'm serious. I promise you, that it is nobody's purpose to just eat, breath, poop, go to work, watch tv, go to sleep, and repeat until dead. That's what a lot of people are doing though!
You have to decide what matters to you and chase after it as if your life depends on it because IT DOES! And it's okay to try a whole bunch of things before you figure out what your thing is. If you're young and you feel overwhelmed just thinking about it, that's incredibly valid! That's when it's the most important to keep trying new things, and preferably NOT the things that your family is suggesting because it's safe and responsible. Try things that light your soul on fire! Try things that seem silly to others but interesting to you.
Human being are hard wired for growth. Happiness, satisfaction, confidence, all of these things come from growth in small and large ways. If you are living the same life over and over again, you likely aren't growing. The surest path towards cognitive decline is to not challenge your mind. What that looks like for each person is vastly different, but the core is the same. Challenge yourself in ways that will make yourself proud.
No matter your age or your place in life, I can guarantee you one thing. There will always be people in your life making suggestions about how you should live your life. They might even be people that you care deeply about and value their opinion. Regardless, YOU are the only person living YOUR LIFE. The only person that you need validation from in regards to the choices that you make about your life is YOURSELF. The earlier you learn that, the happier that you will be as a whole person. If you're struggling to get there, that's okay! A lot of people are never able to break through the fear. You have the ability to make a different choice and I would love to help you get there.
When you fail to plan… you plan to fail.
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